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A Church of Letters

When I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 11 years ago, I sometimes felt lost when fellow members started speaking in what I called “Mormon letter code”.

Them: “It was a total CTR moment, you know?”

Me: (cluelessly) “Uh-huh.”

Them: “So did you go to the Y?”

Me: (hesitantly) “Not..yet?”

Them: “He’s at the MTC.”

Me: (trying to seem smart) “That must be…dry.”

Eventually I caught on that we are a church of long names, which naturally get shortened to acronyms.  Which eventually…will be understood by me.

Some common acronyms…

HFPE= Home, Family and Personal Enrichment. 

CTR= Choose the Right.

YM and YW= Young Men and Young Women.

D&C= Doctrine and Covenants

KJV= King James Version of the Bible

Y= Brigham Young University

MTC= Missionary Training Center

Can you figure out any of the others from this poem?

JARGON by Lawrence Heywood

My son’s a CTR … I go to PEC.
I work for CES….I study the TG.
I read the B of M …. I probe the D&C.
I search the KJV … I ponder the JST.
Today in BYC … we planned for EFY.
I stayed a little after … and had a PPI.
The YM and YW … are putting on a play.
It’s one that I remember …we did in MIA.
Before our oldest son …went in the MTC,
He helped the BSA …. complete their SME.
Soon our oldest daughter … is heading for the Y.
Soon our oldest clothing … is going to DI.
Now, if you’ve understood … this alphabetic mess,
The chances are quite good … that you are LDS.

I can only get 1/2. Apparently even after 11 years my LDS lingo is only so-so.